You and Your Child

This page focuses on the serene bond of love between parents and their children. Also it throws some valuable light on upbringing issues.

Detrimental Effect of Comparison!

‘Comparison’ is a detrimental instrument that completely hampers a child’s natural growth. Referring and appreciating a desired behavior is healthy. For example, if you want your child to greet your guests, just refer to a visit of yours to your friend’s house whose child was very courteous and well-behaved. You share with your child what you liked about your friend’s child. If you compare telling them that “She is so well-mannered. Her parents are so lucky to have her. And look at you. You are so obstinate and embarrass us in front of everyone.” Your child will never be the same again. He’ll revolt and exactly do the opposite of what you expect out of him. Ask yourself “Do you like to be compared?” Same emotions work for children as well.

Parents’ Key Role!

Yes, parents also play a mammoth role for their kids. The moment a child wakes up, he sees his parents. He notices their behavior pattern towards each other, he notices how they handle tough, stressful situations….Meaning, the child is like a tender clay. He is bound to acquire his parents’ traits. Children are the mirror image of their parents mostly. So, parents must try to become role models so as to help their children grow up as responsible citizens. Here I would like to quote Gandhiji who said “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Hence, as parents we must be the role model we want to see in our children….

Saying ‘No’ my child!

It is easy to handle kids above 3yrs of age in this regard but it’s a herculean task to say “No” to the kids below that age group. My way of saying no to my 2 yr old son is very playful. First I mimic his words in a funny manner, make him smile, tickle him, and in the process I take him away from the very root cause of his distraction. We must always bear in our mind that they are after all kids who love being adventurous and exploring things on their own. It gives them a sense of accomplishment.
Older kids should be handled carefully with love and understanding. Else they may just explode or become anti you. Be transparent, speak openly putting the facts right in front of them. Never ever underestimate them. Kids perceive things very accurately and will know for sure if you are trying to fool them. The bottom line, however, is that be patient, calm and logical while saying “No” to your kids. After all they are all yours, your most precious part of life. Love them whole-heartedly. And then witness the magic. All the best!

Motivating or Luring?

Motivation does not mean putting conditions in front of your kid. “If you do this, I’ll give you that” is a complete no no. Children gradually start applying the same technique on you and everybody. The means of motivation should never be…tempting them with offers of their choice. As a teacher I’ve successfully motivated my students and feel accomplished as I discover a sea-change in their performance and behavior. Motivate them to first believe in themselves and assert the words “You can do it”. Let them know for sure that they are trusted, loved and respected. Respect is one of the magic words. I made the naughtiest boy the class monitor in order to discipline him. My weakest of students scored not more than 6 or 7 out of 50 marks. The next term when they scored a little better, say 8 or 9, I made the entire class clap for them as they had shown signs of progress, what if it was just 1 mark increase. The final term these students ‘passed’, if not with flying colors. Rewards have an entirely different application when it comes to motivation.

Quality Time for Your Child!

Quality time is one of the most important factors in shaping a child’s future and securing a good citizen for our beloved nation. Spending quality time doesn’t mean being at home. It doesn’t mean sitting by his side with the remote control …in your hand and zapping through the channels.It does not mean working on the computer and making your child sit by your side n let him paint, play games or do his homework.
Quality time is a pure involvement with your kid. Parent-child relation is a serene bond which must be handled with much serenity and sincerity.
Make sure you are not yapping over the phone when your child wants to show you his painting/stories/poems/projects etc. Encourage your child with enthusiasm n appreciation.Cuddle him,hug him,pat on his back… Always tell him how proud you are as his parents. Time spent with your child even for five minutes becomes quality time provided it’s focused. The moment your kid enters teens treat him as a friend, as an individual with individualistic differences dreams n aspirations. Get involved with him. Remember your days,your demands.And yes, most importantly remember that just because you were a winner your child has to b one. Be your kid’s friend n guide without being judgmental.They need you.Grant them quality time. It’s their right. Don’t blame it on your kids.It wasn’t their decision to come on earth.
Your child, like every bird has wings to fly n strong roots to keep him connected. Allow him to fly, soar high in d sky.
My Experience As a Teacher
It is said that, since God cannot be everywhere, He made mothers. I believe, as mothers cannot be everywhere, humans created teachers. From morning till late afternoon, the child is in the school. He comes back home and after a break, gets back to studies – homework followed by preparation for the next day. So, the school is an integral part of a child’s life.

When we talk of school, teachers invariably come to our mind. They are actually the true guardians of a child as they lay the foundation of a child’s future.

My experiences with my students have always been memorable. I followed a strategy which no one taught me but I inherited from my affectionate mother. She is a teacher too who loves her students like her own kids. She always carries needle and thread, band-aids and antiseptic cream in her purse, just in case students need them. Her students, who are now grown up professionals, come to the school just to meet her, take her blessings and to thank her for motivating them to do well in life. On the social networking site her students have jointly created a page dedicated to her. Mere teaching and finishing the syllabus cannot earn this kind of selfless love.

As a teacher, I danced and sang songs with my students after the completion of each chapter. My students knew that I’m a strict teacher when it came to studies and exams, but also a friend to them at other times. During lunch period, I had to finish my lunch fast as they would scream my name out from outside the window, requesting me to come and play with them. I would love to do that irrespective of my age. My mother does it even today, even if she’s on the verge of retiring. My students are my Facebook friends too.

 

Techniques or Methodologies to be followed by a Good Teacher:

  • Wear a smile on your face.
  • Be firm but nice to you students.
  • Meet deadlines to avoid unnecessary stress.
  • There may be students who are just beyond control. Slip into their shoes and handle them with patience not with wrath.
  • Do not abuse or hit students when they misbehave. It’s difficult to do so but it’s very important for you to be looked up to.
  • Do not talk much/extra. Maintain your gravity.
  • Your appearance as a teacher matters. Wear decent dresses; avoid wearing too many bangles, rings, nail polish, long ear-rings, strong perfume, flashy sandals that make noise when you walk. These are distractions for students when you teach.
  • Know your subject well. Students of this era are computer friendly. They will squeeze out your knowledge in seconds.
  • Be confident. It’s not possible to know everything. If you feel you do not know the answer to a question thrown at you, admit it and say that you’ll get back to them with the answer the next day. Do not falter.
  • Make your students believe in themselves. Show them that you trust their abilities.
  • Most importantly, love them.

Teaching is a noble profession. Let it remain so. Every teacher likes to be remembered and honored by his/her students. It doesn’t happen overnight.

How To Recognize the Aptitude n Interest of a Child?

See, first n foremost, if a child is talented, a parent can always identify it by keeping a close watch on his activities. Next, a teacher, of course, is able 2 find out d hidden talent in a kid because a school provides a fine platform for various activities. The teacher should then intimate d parents about it. Like I did. I remember one of my students who loved talking about dogs. His parents bought him one as soon as I told them about it. Also, a child is always vocal about his interests. Do not ignore them. My son is 2yr old and all d time he wants colors. So I bot him organic colors which are not harmful at all. Being pushy is a complete NO NO. U might just separate him from what he really likes. Just keep encouraging. If you want your child to develop a love for books then frequently visit libraries or book stores. Buy the ones your child seems to like. Do not pile / manipulate your kid with your interests. It’s his life and it’s his choice. Read yourself a lot…. In a nutshell, ENCOURAGE your kid’s interests, MOTIVATE him to inculcate good interests and be a ROLE MODEL yourself. All the best.

Worries Of a Mother of a year old Kid

Question : Hi!im a mother of 2yrs old baby girl.can u help me out by sharing sum gud ideas of making my child more disciplined as c always ignore d things which i try 2 teach her…

Answer : Calm down… she’s just 2. It’s a bit too early 2 decide how she’ll b as a grown up girl.

Do not be forceful bt surely b strict. I am. Read books about this age group. It’s a very delicate stage full of contradictions..Sometimes u’ll find your child is so obedient,generous n loving n at other times she might just b self-oriented,undisciplined n might embarrass you in front of others. This is expected out of her at this age. It has been rightly termed as ‘Terrible Two’.At two a child develops his intelligence, imagination and language+ motor skills as a result of which your child starts getting independent. They r full of excitement, exploring different things on their own. Be patient. Don’t push her too much.Do not plz pamper her as well. She hardly has a sense of right or wrong. But children surely know how to manipulate parents.Do not ever contradict your own verdict. If u say NO to something, maintain it.

Trust urself n ur beliefs.There r several books available in d market on parenting.Read them.

She’s a sweet heart and m sure, time will prove it when she makes you a proud mom. All the best. God bless!!!

2 responses to “You and Your Child

  1. Hi Nilanjana,

    Hope you are doing well.

    Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Priyanka and I am writing to you on behalf of FirstCry.com – Asia’s largest online baby and kids’ store.

    It is said that, “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity; it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” That’s why we say, ‘Mommies know best’!

    We believe that the love for your baby is love in the purest form and this Valentine’s Day we are celebrating this love between parents and their babies.

    We have recently launched a ‘Fall in Love with your Baby Again’ campaign where in we are asking moms and dads to tell us how they would delight their baby this Valentine’s Day. They can write a love letter to their baby, a beautiful poem for them, sing a song or dance for them and share a video with us!

    We would love for special moms like you to be a part of this campaign and share your lovely thoughts about your baby. We would also love for you to encourage moms on your blog to also do the same. Let’s take this chance and show our babies how much we love them!

    We have various gratifications for the most creative and loveable ideas! The videos will also be featured on our Youtube Channel.

    If you have ideas on how you can contribute even more to the ‘Fall in Love with your Baby Again’ campaign, do write in because we’d love to listen.

    Join our 3.5 Lakh+ mommys’ strong community on Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/FirstCryIndia.

    Do help us spread the love for our little angels this month by encouraging your readers, friends and family to participate.

    The next time you wish to shop for your little one, do stop by at http://www.firstcry.com and choose from the best range of baby products that suit your child’s needs. After all ‘Mommy knows best’

    Will look forward to hearing from you,

    First Cry India Team

    Like

    • Dear Priyanka,

      Thank you so much for your message. ‘Fall in Love with your Baby Again’ is a very thoughtful campaign. I fear I’m a little late for working on this offer. However, I would love to be in touch with First Cry, Asia’s largest online baby and kids’ store.

      All the best for your future endeavors.

      Nilanjana CG

      Like

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